More than one cause for sniffling

I woke up with teary eyes and watery mucus freely flowing from my nostrils. Possibly from downing too much granma and c2 the night before.
I am ending my day donning a huge dunce cap. I am beginning to question my mortality in the advertising industry. Earlier I found myself browsing through the classifieds again, it felt rather like half-heartedly choosing a building plan for an ark; an anticipation for the worst, for literally the end of days. At least in advertising.
I've swallowed about 50 tablets of 500mg ascorbic acid, in quite reasonable intervals, with hopes of shortening the time of sickness. I can't afford to be absent, seeing that I might need to pay for that stolen iBook, plus the rent and utilities.
I've had a triple dose of ad blogs the whole day, hoping to hone my judgment skills on which ad would win and which ad would be downright humiliating.
All I want to do is go home and have someone take care of me.
Well, I can always get a dog.